"Amazing Grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost
But now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see"
There's always something about those healing words to help remind us all of His amazing grace. But have you ever thought about the words beyond the song.
While reading John 9, the introduction really spoke to me.
John 9
Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind
1 As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.
How often as a parent or even a grandparent have we watched our children suffer a pain that is beyond our control and just wanted to take it away for them? How often have we blamed ourselves or wondered what sin we have committed that God is punishing us through our children? How often have we begged for God to just punish us instead?
While my faith has remained strong these past few years with the trials and tribulations of watching my children suffer and I have leaned and allowed myself to be cradled in His arms, I couldn't help but sometimes wonder if their suffering was my fault.
But I am reminded in John 9 that sometimes it isn't to "punish" us, but instead so that we may become stronger and so that the person who suffers may be used for the greater good of His will. I really believe that God has a greater plan and my children are a part of that plan.
In a conference with Bradley's teacher, she shared that she felt so bad for his respiratory and allergy issues she sees in class, but that she is just amazed at his positive attitude about everything. For all his sufferings he had a chance to become such an angry little boy, but he embraces life and is such an amazing and loving little boy. He has no fear of sharing his stories of Jesus and God and the times he has spent with them. I pray he continues to share his experiences with others.
For those of you who have suffered, are suffering, or feel the trials and tribulations of a loved one who suffers, know that God has his reasons and that he is with you.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Come Like Little Children
And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:3)
In one of my first blog posts I prayed for us to become like children for as the scripture says, until we become like little children, we will not enter the kingdom of Heaven.
This can be taken in many ways. One of which to say that we must realize that God is our Father and we should become obedient to Him. The other is just what the scripture says...become like a little child.
As I am reading Heaven is for Real, I am reminded of just how much a child believes in what some of us as adults fail to see. It is actually quite chilling to read of the words Colton shares with his parents over time. Chilling because I too have heard such similar words from my own Bradley. You see both Colton and Bradley have left their parents speechless and hearts filled with wonder and awe and even a little longing to be so carefree and open with our sharing of the ways we have seen God work in our lives.
With Colton (and I haven't finished the book yet, so I don't know all he has to say), he stops his dad, who is a pastor by the way, in his tracks through statements such as knowing that he should be nice to others and share because Jesus told him to. Hmmm....sounds so much like what Bradley has told me before, "Jesus told me to help by folding my own clothes." "Jesus taught me how to fold them."
While I don't know all of Colton's story, I do know Bradley's. For those who haven't read my first few posts, please take the time to go back to them. You see Bradley from a young age has spoken of the places he has seen Jesus. Right down to describing where Jesus sits in the car. Of course now Bradley doesn't speak of seeing Him out as much, but the reasoning "Well mommy, I have Jesus and God in my heart." He's even described to me how he felt brand new/different after he asked them to be in his heart. And no, this did not come about from my talking about this or even from church. This was an out of the blue announcement one night while Bradley was getting ready to take a shower.
So why is it so hard for us as adults to see Jesus around us? Could it be we have let the world and our temporary home come in the way? Was there a magical age when we no longer saw Him around? When did we stop seeing Him for ourselves? Did He come to us when we were little just as He has come to Bradley and to Colton? What can we do to find the child within and believe as children do?
I can only speak for myself and often I feel "odd" because people expect me to let out my frustrations and to get angry because of the medical challenges we have had to fight and continue to fight and learn to live with, but I don't. I do get a little frustrated at times, afterall who doesn't want their children to live a healthy normal life? But do I get angry with God, sorry, but the answer is no. Do I question Him. Sure, from time to time. But what gets me through is my faith that with Him all things are possible and as Romans 8:28 states "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose".
That verse was shared with me when I was 16 and life was bringing about more change for me. As much as it hurts to have to deal with the pain that I cannot take away from my children, I truly believe God has a purpose for their lives and they must endure their present to become who He wants them to be.
So as you look around you, pay special attention to children. It's amazing to view anything from their point of view because their senses are tuned in to the things that we so often forget to notice or that we take for granted. Stare up in awe at the stars, delight in the rain, embrace the sun. Take in your surroundings. Above all go to God as a little child. Open your hearts so that you too may see through the eyes of a child. Believe and profess without hesitation.
In one of my first blog posts I prayed for us to become like children for as the scripture says, until we become like little children, we will not enter the kingdom of Heaven.
This can be taken in many ways. One of which to say that we must realize that God is our Father and we should become obedient to Him. The other is just what the scripture says...become like a little child.
As I am reading Heaven is for Real, I am reminded of just how much a child believes in what some of us as adults fail to see. It is actually quite chilling to read of the words Colton shares with his parents over time. Chilling because I too have heard such similar words from my own Bradley. You see both Colton and Bradley have left their parents speechless and hearts filled with wonder and awe and even a little longing to be so carefree and open with our sharing of the ways we have seen God work in our lives.
With Colton (and I haven't finished the book yet, so I don't know all he has to say), he stops his dad, who is a pastor by the way, in his tracks through statements such as knowing that he should be nice to others and share because Jesus told him to. Hmmm....sounds so much like what Bradley has told me before, "Jesus told me to help by folding my own clothes." "Jesus taught me how to fold them."
While I don't know all of Colton's story, I do know Bradley's. For those who haven't read my first few posts, please take the time to go back to them. You see Bradley from a young age has spoken of the places he has seen Jesus. Right down to describing where Jesus sits in the car. Of course now Bradley doesn't speak of seeing Him out as much, but the reasoning "Well mommy, I have Jesus and God in my heart." He's even described to me how he felt brand new/different after he asked them to be in his heart. And no, this did not come about from my talking about this or even from church. This was an out of the blue announcement one night while Bradley was getting ready to take a shower.
So why is it so hard for us as adults to see Jesus around us? Could it be we have let the world and our temporary home come in the way? Was there a magical age when we no longer saw Him around? When did we stop seeing Him for ourselves? Did He come to us when we were little just as He has come to Bradley and to Colton? What can we do to find the child within and believe as children do?
I can only speak for myself and often I feel "odd" because people expect me to let out my frustrations and to get angry because of the medical challenges we have had to fight and continue to fight and learn to live with, but I don't. I do get a little frustrated at times, afterall who doesn't want their children to live a healthy normal life? But do I get angry with God, sorry, but the answer is no. Do I question Him. Sure, from time to time. But what gets me through is my faith that with Him all things are possible and as Romans 8:28 states "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose".
That verse was shared with me when I was 16 and life was bringing about more change for me. As much as it hurts to have to deal with the pain that I cannot take away from my children, I truly believe God has a purpose for their lives and they must endure their present to become who He wants them to be.
So as you look around you, pay special attention to children. It's amazing to view anything from their point of view because their senses are tuned in to the things that we so often forget to notice or that we take for granted. Stare up in awe at the stars, delight in the rain, embrace the sun. Take in your surroundings. Above all go to God as a little child. Open your hearts so that you too may see through the eyes of a child. Believe and profess without hesitation.
Friday, July 1, 2011
God Smacked Me Upside the Head...or Something Like That
In the chaos of children and adults swarming around to get to their seats. Above all the noise of the music, I felt as if someone had smacked me upside the head. My head turned without having to search for why because my eyes landed on a little boy in the crowd. My thoughts immediately turned to Teddy Stallard's story.
You see two years ago an unruly, full of anger and an I don't care attitude little boy entered my life unexpectedly at Vacation Bible School. At the time he was all of three years old. But the determined person I am....and the one who much prefers to have the hard to reach students because for some reason I feel God granted me with a gift to love these people, I was determined that S.C. was going to listen and he was going to have a good time and he was going to feel loved...if only for a few short hours.
Recently S.C. entered my life again although he did not know it. You see, on Tuesday mornings I would stand out at the car rider line in the wee hours of the morning to let students out. At first I wasn't sure, but after a few weeks and some double checking, I knew for sure this was the same S.C. from VBS 2009.
As chance would have it, on Monday evening as I picked up our nametags, something made me turn around. Right behind me was S.C. and grandma who was filling out the registration form. A little part of me hoped he would be in my group (some people probably think I am a glutton for punishment). I immediately asked S.C. if he had been in Ms. S's class this past year. Grandma looked at me to which I explained how I knew...I worked at the school.
I went on about my business of getting my own kids something to drink and settled in not thinking much of it. When we headed to find a place at a table, I saw the green lanyard hanging from his neck. S.C. was going to be in my group!?.
I could feel the thoughts of those in the room. Some of indifference, not knowing the reputation of this child and others filled with "Oh no! He's back!" Let me remind everyone right now of John 8:7 "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone." While this in no way implies that any child or grandchild is the same as or worse than S.C., just remember that there are plenty of children all around us who may need some help in the behavior department, so think of the behavior of your own before you start criticizing the behavior of another.
Now back to S.C., while he has gotten better over the past 2 years, I quickly learned that S.C. remains full of hate and inappropriate behavior. It's is disheartening to see such fury behind eyes of a five year old. But I knew that with constant high expectations and letting him know that I was there and that I cared we would make the few hours we had together some good hours.
As the hours and days went on, I cannot think of too many in my mixed age group who did not have a complaint about S.C. and even a few adults around commented to me about their concern with his rudeness and anger when he would be dropped off by himself when the doors opened. But you know what? On that last night of VBS, I cannot recall the students in my group saying one negative thing about S.C. There was also a remarked difference behind those cold eyes that over the past few days one had to really search to find the slightest hint of a child and of hope behind. You see that last night, there was radiance (though not the whole night) behind those deep chocolate brown eyes.
That's why God smacked me upside the head during the closing ceremonies. S.C. needs someone in his life like Miss Thompson was there for Teddy Stallard. When I looked up and saw S.C. I could only think of Teddy. I do not know what will become of S.C. and maybe our paths will cross again next year.
For those of you who do not know Teddy's story, grab some tissues and listen.
You see two years ago an unruly, full of anger and an I don't care attitude little boy entered my life unexpectedly at Vacation Bible School. At the time he was all of three years old. But the determined person I am....and the one who much prefers to have the hard to reach students because for some reason I feel God granted me with a gift to love these people, I was determined that S.C. was going to listen and he was going to have a good time and he was going to feel loved...if only for a few short hours.
Recently S.C. entered my life again although he did not know it. You see, on Tuesday mornings I would stand out at the car rider line in the wee hours of the morning to let students out. At first I wasn't sure, but after a few weeks and some double checking, I knew for sure this was the same S.C. from VBS 2009.
As chance would have it, on Monday evening as I picked up our nametags, something made me turn around. Right behind me was S.C. and grandma who was filling out the registration form. A little part of me hoped he would be in my group (some people probably think I am a glutton for punishment). I immediately asked S.C. if he had been in Ms. S's class this past year. Grandma looked at me to which I explained how I knew...I worked at the school.
I went on about my business of getting my own kids something to drink and settled in not thinking much of it. When we headed to find a place at a table, I saw the green lanyard hanging from his neck. S.C. was going to be in my group!?.
I could feel the thoughts of those in the room. Some of indifference, not knowing the reputation of this child and others filled with "Oh no! He's back!" Let me remind everyone right now of John 8:7 "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone." While this in no way implies that any child or grandchild is the same as or worse than S.C., just remember that there are plenty of children all around us who may need some help in the behavior department, so think of the behavior of your own before you start criticizing the behavior of another.
Now back to S.C., while he has gotten better over the past 2 years, I quickly learned that S.C. remains full of hate and inappropriate behavior. It's is disheartening to see such fury behind eyes of a five year old. But I knew that with constant high expectations and letting him know that I was there and that I cared we would make the few hours we had together some good hours.
As the hours and days went on, I cannot think of too many in my mixed age group who did not have a complaint about S.C. and even a few adults around commented to me about their concern with his rudeness and anger when he would be dropped off by himself when the doors opened. But you know what? On that last night of VBS, I cannot recall the students in my group saying one negative thing about S.C. There was also a remarked difference behind those cold eyes that over the past few days one had to really search to find the slightest hint of a child and of hope behind. You see that last night, there was radiance (though not the whole night) behind those deep chocolate brown eyes.
That's why God smacked me upside the head during the closing ceremonies. S.C. needs someone in his life like Miss Thompson was there for Teddy Stallard. When I looked up and saw S.C. I could only think of Teddy. I do not know what will become of S.C. and maybe our paths will cross again next year.
For those of you who do not know Teddy's story, grab some tissues and listen.
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