There's Hope...part 2

Overcome with sleep, she nodded off while waiting in the car for dance practice to end. 

Okay, I really set up the jacket between the driver's side window and the visor so the sun would be blocked, kicked off my shoes, reclined the seat back and purposely closed my eyes...

What I thought was only a few minutes of sleep actually ended up being closer to an hour. Ooops.....

The past couple of weeks, I've been hit with sudden tiredness and a strong desire to take a nap. Nothing regular to it, no rhyme or reason. It's the tired I remember feeling at the end of a school year filled with teaching and participating in my own classes.  Since March 2020, life has been "on" and there has been no off switch. No down time....not even when forced to stay at home. Hello...INTROVERT HERE! I need to be alone to recharge. 

I knew a couple of months into the pandemic that this introvert's batteries were going to deplete and I know that's part of what's happening right now. The batteries are almost dead. Or are they?

You see there's something else behind the tiredness. The desire to take a nap while waiting on my dancer. When I shared in part 1 of "There's Hope" that there would be a part 2 that would include my story, I didn't realize God would use the very next day (today) to give me the start to part 2, but it makes sense. "Here you go Brandi, you need to talk about being tired. You need to talk about rest."

You see with Mark going to church now and setting the expectation for the children to attend, there's been a shift in how we worship. That's really what I thought this would be about....stepping back, letting my husband take the lead. It's no longer me "forcing" the kids to go someplace when "dad gets to stay home." It's no longer me "carrying the load" of leading my family while desperately praying for my husband. It's no longer me holding onto frustrations of 'doing it alone'. 

This tiredness, is from trying to do it all. Trying to do more than I should have. God carried me through it all and He's reminding me to stay in prayer. God's letting me know that the shift that's taking place right now was no small feat. He carried me, He equipped me, but now He's saying to ease up, let go, let Mark take on some of the load. He's reminding me to TRUST HIM! to keep my eyes on HIM! to REST in HIM. 

I share all this with you because none of this is what I expected. When I felt the weight lift from my shoulders several weeks ago, I was overcome with peace and relief. Years of faithful prayer being answered!

And if you are anything like me, you want to be in control. You want to make the decisions....just not the decision about "what's for dinner?" You spend so much time being "in charge" of certain things, that when things suddenly change, you don't know what to do. 

Thankfully God knows me so well, He knows how I operate and so He's quick to provide me with just what I need. I was so busy focused on Him and working things out for myself and what I needed to walk away from, that I almost didn't notice the shift in dynamics for our family unit. I kinda was not even home to be part of Mark getting everyone ready for church because I was working at one church then rushing to the next church so I could be with my family. 

Then it hit me one day, "My husband is leading the family to worship together." And the weight lifted even more.  

Is it perfect?.....Absolutely NOT! But that's not what it's about. 

When I shared in part 1 that a change would happen, I meant it. God knew how to ease me into the change so I wouldn't take control. I trust He will do the same for you. I know He has me sharing with you now because of all that I didn't expect. So when your help arrives or steps up to lead, let him. Be willing to step back just enough. Trust God and take advantage of resting in Him. Keep your eyes focused on Him.  And then listen, because God is going to whisper your name. 

Y'all I don't know where all this is going to lead. What I do know is God has been here every step of the way....even when I get in the way. He has a purpose and a plan for each of us. We may not see it or understand it, but we need to step out in faith. We need to trust and obey. I can't help but be excited for all God has planned.