Vows and Rose Ceremony

On July 4, 2004 in the sweltering heat, Mark and I said our vows to each other at Station 18 1/2 on the beach at Sullivan's Island. Below are the vows we exchanged and the Rose Ceremony afterwards. Yes, it's long, but hey, I was going to make the moment last and get my money's worth:-)

  

INTRODUCTION           

We have gathered here today to hear __Mark______ and ____Brandi___ as they promise to face the future together, accepting whatever may lie ahead.  For the world that God has created for them, with its beauty and grace that is all around with the strength that it offers and the peace that it brings, makes them truly grateful.

Would you bow with me as we ask the Lord’s blessing on our time together today?

PRAYER

Our Father in heaven, Creator, Savior and Designer of marriage, we turn to you this evening,  asking that you be glorified by what takes place.  That this ceremony would honor you, and reflect the seriousness of the vows to be spoken.  Might this service be a reminder to us who have spoken similar vows to our spouses in the past. Might it be instructive to those yet considering such a commitment in their future.  Might this ceremony be a fitting beginning for __Mark______  and ____Brandi___  as they commit themselves before their family to pursue life together.  We ask it in Jesus’ name, Amen.

             

__Mark_____ and ____Brandi___, nothing is easier than saying words and nothing harder than living them day after day.  What you promise today must be renewed and redecided tomorrow.  At the end of this ceremony legally you will be husband and wife, but you still must decide each day that stretches out before you, that you want to be married. 

Real love is something beyond the warmth and glow, the excitement and romance of being deeply in love, It is caring as much about the welfare and happiness in each other; it is looking outward in the same direction---together.  Love makes burdens lighter, because you divide them. It makes joys stronger because you share them. It makes you stronger so you can reach out and become involved with life in ways you dared not risk alone. 

GIVING AWAY OF THE BRIDE

Who is giving this woman to be joined to this man in holy matrimony?

FOB: Her mother and I

(Bride’s parents) _Robert____ and _Donna_____, are you willing, now and always, to support and strengthen this marriage, by upholding both _Mark___ and _Brandi_____, with your love, your concern, your counsel, and your prayers?

PARENTS: We are.

(Groom’s parents) _Jimmy____ and _Debbie_____, are you willing, now and always, to support and strengthen this marriage, by upholding both __Mark__ and _Brandi_____, with your love, your concern, your counsel, and your prayers?

PARENTS: We are.

 

As you take these vows, _Mark______ and __Brandi____, I would have you remember: To love is to enter a whole new world, a world of togetherness, a world of sharing….All that is dearest and deepest within your hearts.

To love is to remember and keep alive forever all those unique qualities that drew you to one another in the beginning…Those first halting phrases…the thrill of discovery…That wonderful feeling of oneness when your eyes met.

To love is to constantly search for new ways to bring each other to happiness, to make the most of every moment you share together, and marvel at how your feelings for one another keep rising to new dimensions.

To love is to create an oasis of tranquility for one another and a quiet place, apart from others, where you need not pretend…where you can be yourselves…And know within your hearts, you will be accepted by one another. To love is to greet each day with anticipation …Always eager for another opportunity to share new adventures… And gather up new memories TOGETHER!

To love is to follow the rainbow through the rain, to be able to laugh at yourselves and be willing to say…” I was wrong, I’m sorry”… To forgive, and more importantly, to FORGET, and to always believe and trust in one another.

To love is to watch with wonder all the miracles of creation, to find beauty in all the simple things of life, and to find, within ourselves, a deeper appreciation and a new awareness of how wonderful it is to be alive…To be happy…To be… TOGETHER.

To love is to come together from the pathways of our past and then move forward…Hand in hand, along the uncharted roads of our future, ready to risk, to dream, and to dare…And always believe that all things are possible with faith and love.

WEDDING VOWS ( Please join you right hands)

_Mark_______, in taking this woman whom you hold by the right hand to be your lawful and wedded wife, I require you to promise to love and cherish her, to honor and sustain her, in sickness and in health, in poverty as in wealth, in bad that may darken your days, in the good that may lighten your ways, and to be true to her in all things until death alone shall part you. Do you so promise?

G: I do

_Brandi_______, taking this man whom you hold by the right hand to be your lawful and wedded husband, I require you to promise to love and cherish him, to honor and sustain him, in sickness and in health, in poverty as in wealth, in bad that may darken your days, in the good that may lighten your ways, and to be true to him in all things until death alone shall part you. Do you so promise?

B: I do.

CHALLENGE:

This I challenge you: That you love each other with an encompassing spectrum of love…That there be expressions of love in words and actions as well as in comforting silence…That there be interest in nuturing concern for each other’s happiness and well being… That your love be broad enough to accept the family and friends of each other and that they accept your love…That you be mindful of each other’s needs with honest effort of fulfillment...to TALK when the other needs to hear…to LISTEN when the other needs to be heard…to TOUCH when the other needs touching…to HOLD when the other needs to be held.  To understand solitude when the other needs to be alone. And that you may make living space of each other’s humanness, with both its strengths and frailties…That you have tenderness in your strength and yet find strength in tenderness itself…That you open yourselves to the Divine Love which has woven the tapestry of your union, and that you honor the Infinite Weaver with FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE, of these three, knowing that the greatest of these is LOVE. Will you accept this challenge?

B/G: I do

EXCHANGE OF THE RINGS:

Traditionally, the marking of the passage to status of husband and wife is marked by the exchange of rings.  These rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of love.  Love freely given has no beginning and no end, no giver and no receiver for each is the giver and each is the receiver.  May these rings always remind you of the vows you have taken…that your love, devotion, and commitment to one another are to be unending.

_Mark_______, would you place the ring you have chosen for _Brandi____ on the third finger of her left hand and repeat after me? Just as this circle is without end, my love for you is eternal.  Just as it is made of incorruptible substance, my commitment to you will never fail.  As a pledge and in token of the vows we have made, with this ring I thee wed.

_Brandi_______, would you place the ring you have chosen for _Mark____ on the third finger of his left hand and repeat after me? Just as this circle is without end, my love for you is eternal.  Just as it is made of incorruptible substance, my commitment to you will never fail.  As a pledge and in token of the vows we have made, with this ring I thee wed.

We will close with an Apache Blessing:

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for each other.

Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be the warmth for the other.

Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling to enter into the days of your life together.

And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

__Mark_______ and __Brandi_______, remember to treat both yourself and each other

with RESPECT, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together.

Give the highest priority to the TENDERNESS, GENTLENESS, AND KINDNESS that your connection deserves.  When frustration, difficulty or fear assail your relationship- as they threatened all relationships at one time or another- remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part that seems wrong.

In this way you can ride out the times when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives- remembering, that even if you lose sight of if for a moment, the sun is still there.

And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your lives together, your life together will be marked by abundance and delight.

_Mark___ and  __Brandi___ in as much as you have consented together in this ceremony to live in Holy Matrimony, have promised your love for each other by these vows, the joining of your hands and the giving of these rings, I now declare you husband and wife. As I do this, let me remind you that henceforth you are one; one in interest, one in reputation and above all else one in affection.

I ask you and all your dear ones to bow your heads in reverence. Silently pray that God will bless the home of _Mark___ and __Brandi___ and that they each, and together, may achieve their highest hopes.

(After short pause)

What God HATH JOINED TOGETHER, LET NO MAN PART ASUNDER.

May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious unto you.  May the Lord lift up his countenance unto you, and give you peace. Amen.

You may kiss the bride. It is my pleasure to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. _Cade_____. Before parting _Mark_____ and _Brandi_________  request your presence in the exchanging of their first gifts to each other as husband and wife.

ROSE CEREMONY

   

The Rose Ceremony is simple yet profoundly moving.  The bride and groom exchange two red roses, symbolizing the giving and receiving of their love for each other throughout their entire married life.  The Rose Ceremony also conveys how to use the rose and its symbolism in difficult times in order to forgive each other.

"Your gift to each other for your wedding today has been your wedding rings - which shall always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect; and a public showing of your commitment to each other.

You now have what remains the most honorable title which may exist between a man and a woman - the title of "husband" and "wife." For your first gift as husband and wife, that gift will be a single rose.

In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love and a single rose always meant only one thing - it meant the words "I love you." So it is appropriate that for your first gift - as husband and wife - that gift would be a single rose.

Please exchange your first gift as husband and wife. In some ways it seems like you have not done anything at all. Just a moment ago you were holding one small rose - and now you are holding one small rose. In some ways, a marriage ceremony is like this. In some ways, tomorrow is going to seem no different than yesterday. But in fact today, just now, you both have given and received one of the most valuable and precious gifts of life - one I hope you always remember - the gift of true and abiding love within the devotion of marriage.

_Mark__ and ___Brandi____ I would ask that where ever you make your home in the future - whether it be a large and elegant home - or a small and graceful one - that you both pick one very special location for roses; so that on each anniversary of this truly wonderful occasion you both may take a rose to that spot both as a recommitment to your marriage - and a recommitment that THIS will be a marriage based upon love. 

In every marriage there are times where it is difficult to find the right words. It is easiest to hurt who we most love. It is easiest to be most hurt by who we most love. It might be difficult sometimes to words to say "I am sorry" or "I forgive you"; "I need you" or "I am hurting". If this should happen, if you simply can not find these words, leave a rose at that spot which both of you have selected - for that rose then says what matters most of all and should overpower all other things and all other words.

That rose says the words: "I still love you." The other should accept this rose for the words which cannot be found, and remember the love and hope that you both share today.


__Mark_ and _Brandi__, if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, it is that it was love that brought you here today, it is only love which can make it a glorious union, and it is by love which your marriage shall endure."