"MOMMY! NOOOOOOOO! STOP IT MOMMY! I SAID STOP IIIIIIITTTTTTT! YOU'RE BURNING ME! STOP IT! PLEASE JUST STOP IT MOMMY!" Bradley screams to the point of being hoarse every night and every morning, as tears well up in his eyes. Sounds very similar to this post I made in 2009....
His Hand's Are Holding Me
This is once again our life. Fortunately for my readers, I don't have any good pictures from our current flare. We live each day not knowing. Not knowing whether the day will be one full of smiles, mischief, giggles, and genuine boy life or whether they day will be somber and heartbreaking with these screams, with Bradley curled up in the fetal position with tears in the corners of his eyes, ready to fall at any moment, screaming at the slightest move. Clothing, especially socks, stick to his wounds and sometimes the pajamas do as well so we have to carefully wet the clothing and pry it off his already hurting skin.
You see, Bradley's eczema sat on the back burner for the past couple of years while we learned of new health issues. Now that we had time to uncover some issues that have probably been present for just as long as the asthma, eczema, and allergies, his little body is now overtaken with all his health problems.
God's timing is perfect too. While I pray that Bradley will get the relief he deserves, I am also thankful that if he must endure this pain, that he gets to do it where I work. You see, he gets to be in the same building I am since he is now a second grader and our school is 2nd-5th. Sometimes he just needs a mother's touch, hug, kiss, word to keep him going through the day. And days like today he can say "Mommy, I don't care what anyone says, will you please carry me down the hall so it doesn't hurt so bad?" God gives moms an amazing amount of strength:-)
We are going to enter into a sense of false healing because to help him make it through the next several days, he is on an oral steroid to help calm his little body down. I say false healing, because he cannot stay on this medicine for a prolonged period and it is a medicine that starts out strong and tapers off with lower doses every few days. By this time next week he will most likely be screaming himself hoarse again as I work to moisturize his skin, force him to bathe, and apply any topical medications because that's what happens....the flare comes back with a vengeance. I will take advantage of the rest this false healing will provide because from experience we know this is a long haul because it does take time. He has been suffering without getting this under control for the past several months, and especially since August.
In years past, no matter how bad a flare, no matter how horrific his skin, Bradley always made it outside because he loves the outdoors and was willing to pay the consequence. Since August, Bradley has been outside for recess or other play only a handful of times. He has found a new escape in a world of technology that requires little exertion meaning little chance of sweating or becoming too hot.
We continue to pray and trust in the ultimate Healer's hands to hold us, wipe away our tears, carry us, and be the listener we need as we cry out in pain, in frustration, in weariness, in praise, and in question.
As I read back over many of my blog posts from 2009, I am taken back to that time. It's amazing how our brain helps us to remember some things and forget others. We battle such health problems as eczema, allergies, asthma, eosinophilic esophagitis, eosinophilic colitis, acid reflux, and the food elimination that goes with those diseases for Bradley. We carefully read labels so he can avoid milk, egg, yeast, wheat, peanut, banana, pork, beef, and corn. He now complains constantly of new symptoms such as always being dizzy, tired, and crampy.
For Tori, our days are only slightly different because she too suffers from eczema, allergies, and asthma. She gets hot, she scratches. She doesn't get what she wants, she scratches. She gets upset about something, she scratches. Fortunately she clears faster for right now that what Bradley does and at least she can tolerate water from a shower or bath, she just doesn't like putting on her lotions. But my walk down memory lane via my posts reminds me that she has suffered for quite some time as well and she even had some serious diagnosis that I had forgotten about as far as her infections through the years.
As for Aubrey who is now 18 months old, I continue to pray she remains as healthy as she is and praise God each day. For both Bradley and Tori, they have suffered since before their first birthday.
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