Lessons from the Dishes

The dishwasher has been broken for 2 months now. That means for 2 months, I have had the joy and privilege of washes dishes by hand...and that broken dishwasher is serving a new purpose...drying rack.

Joy and privilege! Yes, a chore that must be done and is supposedly so much more conveniently done via a machine...washing dishes can be joyful and a privilege.

For the past few weeks as I stood there at the sink I realized I have time to think. Okay, so many of you may think "oh boy. As if she didn't already think too much, now she's rejoicing over even more time," but hear me out.

When using the dishwasher, I was always in a rush, rinse them, load them, add detergent, turn the machine on....wait, wait, wait, and wait some more. Clean dishes. But having to wash them by hand, I realize I have time to "think". Even more time than say...hiding in the bathroom. Cause let me tell you, the kids find you in the bathroom, the husband finds you in the bathroom, but the kitchen while you are washing the dishes? Well, let's just say for the most part everyone disappears. Now don't get me wrong, I love my family, but sometimes I just need a moment to process the day and that's where the dishes come in.

Tonight, as I stood there, I started thinking about school stuff, but then I started thinking about God, my Bible studies, and it just all started coming together. You see Jesus washed me clean a long time ago. He died for a sinner like me. A sinner like you. He took on the dirt and grime of our sinful life so we can be made clean. But just like I'm reading in my study about righteousness, there is the right there immediate kind of righteousness that is found when we accept Jesus as our Savior. This is imputed righteousness. This is something we can only have through Him and it's immediate.

But you see it doesn't stop there. Just because we accept Christ doesn't mean we can just go out and live as freely as we want to. You now comes work and transformation.

As I went to set a dish on the rack I realized I had missed a spot. I missed it because the lighting at the sink isn't the greatest and so I had to wash it again. There are many times this happens in our Christian life as well. We were washed clean; however, that isn't the end. We keep living and we keep having to make the choice daily to follow God. Sometimes that gets tough. Sometimes we slip, we fall, we make decisions that cause us to get dirty. And sometimes we allow that dirt to prevent us from believing that God still loves us, still gives us grace. You see, this is where practical righteousness comes into play. It's the day to day, moment by moment actions and decisions we make. We have to choose to fight the darkness with light, we have to choose to put on the armor and stand at the ready for when the dirt tries to enter in.

So like that dish where I missed a spot because it was too dark to see it, my life and yours can easily get turned upside down if we spend time in darkness. And at first it may be a little spot, but if it remains in the dark, it has room to grow and build over time. The only way to fight it is with the truth, with the light, with the cleaning that only God provides. So I encourage you to be in the word and to be in constant prayer, constant conversation with God, walking with Him daily. And remember: Just like I didn't toss the dish just because I had missed a spot, God won't toss us aside either. Take it to Him...no matter what the 'dirt' is, repent, give it up, and DON'T try to take it back.

The Heart of Christianity

On May 15 I was asked if I would be willing to do part of the sermon on July 1 for laity Sunday. This is where lay people lead church services. I agreed. Through some communication over the next month, I learned of the scripture, what my focus needed to be on, and I started praying for God to give me the words and for the Holy Spirit to intervene. 

Well, we all know how God works...a little over 24 hours before I was to deliver my part I was asked how I felt about delivering the entire sermon....and that's just what I did.
So for all those wondering what on earth my Facebook post was about with thanking people for their kind and encouraging words...it was for what they said after the sermon. For those who were told they missed out, here's the typed sermon.
Audio link: The Heart of Christianity

And just like the talks I've given over the past couple of years...when I was told the topic, I was thinking...what? I'll have like 2 sentences if I do this on my own. Trust me when I say, take it all to God and then SHUT UP and LISTEN to what He says to you. 
...........

The Heart of Christianity
Sermon 7-1-18

This week we celebrate the freedom of our country. But today I want us all to think about the greatest freedom of all~the freedom we received because Jesus died on the cross for it. It’s the freedom to be washed clean, made new, and FORGIVEN. The freedom that’s found in God’s Circle of Blessing.

A circle. It has no beginning and no end. For many a circle represents eternity, wholeness, inclusiveness, and yes, even boundaries...ever draw a circle around someone and tell them not to leave their space? How well did that work?

Just like Mr. Busby shared in the children’s sermon, we are going to keep in mind God’s Circle of Blessing. We are going to focus on the importance of staying inside that circle, obeying our Father and following His commands in life…..no matter what life may bring our way.

To help us remember God’s Circle of Blessing and how it links to the Heart of Christianity, I want everyone to take their hands right now and make a heart. Now I want you to extend that heart out until your hands make a circle. Notice that the heart fits within the circle. Whenever you make the heart and circle with your hands, I want you to remember that the heart of Christianity comes from staying within the circle which involves

• seeking forgiveness,
• understanding God can forgive anything

AND

• also understanding that while we may go through trials, pain, and suffering,
• The JOY of God is near.

Let us pray~
Lord, help us all to open our hearts and minds as we hear your message today. Lord, steal my show...take control..for it is all about you and what you know we need to hear. 
Amen.

More Than Anything Intro

“I know if you wanted to you could wave your hand.

Spare me this heartache and change your plan

And I know any second you could take my pain away

But even if you don’t, I pray.

Help me want the Healer, more than the healing

Help me want the Savior, more than the saving

Help me want the Giver, more than the giving

Oh help me want you Jesus more than anything.”

Pain. We don’t like it. We don’t want. Yet it’s here~and how we choose to deal with it can help us grow closer to God...OR drive a wedge and push us away...out of the circle.

Who has seen the various DUI cars that the Springdale police have placed on display down the road? Here’s an image of one of those cars:

When you look at it I want you to see it with new eyes~I want you to see it as a symbol of pain and suffering...of choices made...see it as a symbol of what you look like on the inside without Christ.

Now let’s get back to pain. What’s the most painful thing you can imagine? Is it the landmine of Legos all over the floor of the room you walk through at night? What about labor pains? Passing a kidney stone? Cancer treatment?

Maybe it’s not the physical pain that hurts you the most. Maybe it’s emotional pain. The pain that comes from words spoken (or the words that weren’t spoken). The names you’ve been called. The judgement passed on you by others. The invitations you didn’t receive. The laughter at your expense. The lack of emotion from a loved one.. The gossip. What about the pain of losing a parent? Or maybe it’s the pain of having to watch your child suffer? Maybe it’s the pain of having to bury your child...you were supposed to go first...right?

Or maybe it isn’t emotional pain from others, but the emotional pain you bring on yourself. Hanging on to a wrong done in the past. Beating yourself up because you tell yourself over and over you aren’t good enough...pretty enough...smart enough...skinny enough, or you should have done this vs. that. The pain of not forgiving others...you just can’t right? They don’t “deserve” it.

Maybe the pain isn’t physical or emotional ~ maybe it goes deeper ~ the spiritual kind.  The kind where you think God has left you. The kind where you question how God could do whatever it is you blame Him for.

The list of pain, suffering, and trials can go on forever. And guess what, as we grow older, what we find painful changes. And if we aren’t careful ~ and more importantly PRAYERFUL ~ All this pain can separate us from Christ. If we aren’t careful, we can let the pain take over and find ourselves outside the Circle of Blessing. But when we put our trust in God, the pain can help us to grow into the person God needs us to be, the person God designed us to be.

When I was 8 I thought I was dying. My legs hurt something fierce and we ended up going to the doctor about them. I was so scared that it was all my fault because I had started tight rolling my pants legs. And even with the diagnosis of growing pains, I still wasn’t convinced that it wasn’t my fault. At that moment, I thought that was the worst pain...or maybe... it was the time when I was 8 and I split my tongue in 2 jumping on a trampoline. Yep...that’s it. WORST. PAIN. EVER! Until a couple of years later and I found I couldn’t breathe well. This was a fearful pain. A pain that became a hospital stay later on. A pain that caused me for the first time ever to question why God would let such a thing happen…..remember what I said about separation from God?

The years passed and then physical pain seemed nothing compared to the pain involved with heartbreak.  Of course that didn’t compare to having to leave my friends...again...because of moving. Moving in high school is TOUGH. But this time God stepped in where I could see Him. In a way that impacted my entire life. Before the move my youth pastor shared with me Romans 8:28…

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God to them who are called according to his purpose.

In that one moment, I learned to start telling myself that God has a purpose for everything in my life. God has a purpose for everything in your life too.

I wish I could say that pain stopped then, but it didn’t. While I made a few friends again, it wasn’t the same. The people at my new school grew up together in a small community, had more money, fancier cars, the list could go on. You see I wasn’t part of their “circle.” Not fitting in hurts.

Time passed and then I thought physical pain was the worst as I screamed in horror watching the skin peel from my face and neck due to 1st and 2nd degree burns from boiling water...just kidding, that pain was nothing compared to the pain that came with the healing.

A few years later, the pain came when I walked through the door of my apartment to be told, “We need to talk. I don’t think I love you anymore. I want a divorce”  Yep, emotional pain was far worse than any type of physical pain. And while I didn’t purposefully leave church...I didn’t return to find a new one here until 6 years later. Pain can cause separation from God.

Time passed, I remarried, and then a couple years later I experienced it...child birth. Yep...PAINFUL...even with the drugs.  And then, I was crazy enough go through it again...but within months I was reminded again that emotional pain was worse than physical pain. It’s painful to watch your children suffer and scream in agonizing pain...with no cure in sight...only “band-aids” to temporarily relieve the pain. I’m so grateful that God doesn’t provide temporary relief….He provides ETERNAL relief.

And then came July 2011 when I prayed to God over and over my desires to have 4 children...but also my fear of having another medically fragile child.  I said I was scared...and he answered...with a loud, sassy, tell it like it is spunky, dare-devil of a child who has been mostly healthy as a horse….she’s just my possible ER visit kiddo due to her adventures. She’s my prayer baby. And so yes, I went through childbirth for a 3rd time.

So why go through the same thing over and over again. Even Jesus told the disciples in John 16: 20 and 21…

”Very truly, I tell you, you will weep and mourn, but the world will rejoice; and you will have pain, but your pain will turn into joy. When a woman is in labor, she has pain, because her hour has come, but when her child is born, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy of having brought a human being into the world.”

So again I ask, why go through pain...especially the same kind over and over. Jesus tells us very clearly that we will suffer in life. That when He leaves earth, His followers will not have an easy life. We will be in pain. We will weep. But….HANG ON because after going through that pain, suffering, weeping...we...will...have...JOY!

Ann Voscamp said, “Our most meaningful purpose can be found exactly in our most painful brokenness.”

The other day I read a post on Facebook that was shared on one of the Bible study groups I belong to. Mary Tircuit shared:

“I was in Dollar Tree last night and there was a lady and 2 kids behind me in a LONG line. One was a big kid, one was a toddler. The bigger one had a pack of glow sticks and the baby was screaming for them so the mom opened the pack and gave him one, which stopped his tears. He walked around with it smiling, but then the bigger boy took it and the baby started screaming again. Just as the mom was about to fuss at the older child, he bent the glow stick and handed it back to the baby. As we walked outside at the same time, the baby noticed the stick was now glowing and his brother said, “i had to break it so you could get the full effect from it.” I almost ran because I could hear God saying to me, “I had to break you to show you why I created you. You had to go through it so you could fulfill your purpose.” That little boy was happy just swinging that unbroken glow stick around in the air because he didn’t understand what it was created to do which was “glow.” There are some people who will be content just “being” but some of us that God has chosen, we have to be “broken”. We have to get sick. We have to lose a job. We go through divorce. We have to bury our parents, best friend, siblings, spouse, or our child because in those moments of desperation God is breaking us but when the breaking is done, then we will be able to see the reason for which we were created."

I’m not sure who said it, but I saw this quote the other day. It said, “If you focus on the hurt, you will suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow.” What would have happened if that little boy’s brother just took the unbroken glow stick away. Or didn’t take it at all, but never revealed its purpose? What would happen if you and I stayed so focused on our pain that we couldn’t move on? What if we kept bringing up past hurts? What if we don’t cry out to God for help? To cleanse us of our sins? Maybe you are sitting out there right now, hurting because of something you just can’t let go of. Or you start to let go, but think you know better so you take it right back from God. Never truly repenting or turning things over to God. Never giving Him time (on His timetable) to turn your PAIN into JOY. You see every time you do that, you are stepping out of His Blessing Circle and saying you can do better without Him.

I want you to think right now. When was the last you can remember feeling JOY? Now think back even further….was there any kind of pain, trial, suffering that you went through before you felt JOY? How did you cross over from pain and suffering into joy?

In the reading today from the Old Testament we hear the cries to God from David after being with Bathsheba.

“Have mercy on me, O God,

according to your steadfast love,

According to your abundant mercy

Blot out my transgressions

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity

And cleanse me from my sin.

…….

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

And put a new and right spirit within me

Do not cast me from your presence

And do not take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation

And sustain in me a willing spirit.

David cries out knowing he has sinned, knowing he isn’t deserving of God’s grace and blessings, but David doesn’t want to be outside God’s Circle of Blessing. David’s full of regret and remorse. He pleas with God to cleanse his heart, to restore him to the joy of salvation, AND to also sustain in him a willing spirit. David...seeks...FORGIVENESS. He cries to God to be with him and help him remain in God’s grace willingly.

Guess what!

You and I can do that too.

God knows it’s hard for us. That’s why he sent us his Son ~ our Savior~ that’s why we are reminded to take up our cross...DAILY. God is okay with helping us out, it’s okay to say “God, I can’t do this on my own. It’s tough. God I need your forgiveness. I need your help every day to come to you with a willing spirit Lord. Please open my eyes to my own sins and help me to repent of them. Help me Lord...because I want to be with you. I want to be in the circle.” And God is there to help us, just like He was all those years ago for David. He’s there welcoming each of us with open arms. He wants us in HIS circle.

Our God is a loving God. He is our Father. Parents, you know what it’s like to see your children in pain or make bad decisions. You know how hard tough love can be, but you also know how important setting those boundaries and teaching your children is for their growth. It all goes back to those growing pains...they aren’t just something you get when you are 8 years old.

Parents, I’m sure you also rejoice when your child succeeds at things….from making those first cooing sounds to walking to graduating, and so on. You rejoice when your child comes back to you asking forgiveness for the wrongs they did.

So just imagine how much more God our Father feels about our actions. The hurts as well as the joy... and especially when we get ourselves back into the circle where we belong.

And that brings us back to the Circle of Blessing and the Heart of Christianity.  Just like how David grieves over his sin, and the consequences of his sin still play out...he finds the joy of God's salvation. His joy is restored, just like a mother giving birth, once he returns to the circle of blessing.

Staying in the circle, seeking true forgiveness, understanding that God can forgive anything, and understanding and having the Joy of God, is the Heart of Christianity.

I want you to take one last look at the image of the car….

Are you going to allow the worldly thing of life to influence how you navigate your life? Are you going to hang on to those things? OR….Are you going to take it all to God and let Him bring you through it?

Amen.

The Grinch

Why the Grinch? 

He's...you know...a Grinch.

Our door remains decorated as the Grinch even months after Read Across America and the celebration of Dr. Seuss birthday. But why?













A painting of the Grinch stands proudly displayed on top of our of our shelves. But why?

The Grinch sometimes accompanies me to work...to be my "work buddy". But why?










The Grinch serves as a reminder. 

• A reminder that people can change. 
• A reminder that not everyone is ready for that change, but you must push through.
• A reminder that no matter how hard it is, hanging on to your core beliefs is important no matter how hard. 
• A reminder to have faith like a child.
• A reminder that relationships are key.
• A reminder that our words, our actions, our silence, our inaction...affect everyone. Some of them have negatively. Some positively. 
• A reminder that it takes patience and persistence...the Grinch didn't start the way he was...that took years of tearing him down, little by little. 
• A reminder that every child we come in contact with has a past we may know nothing about and the only thing we can control is how we will interact with that child each day...so make it an interaction that builds trust, builds faith, builds hope. 
• A reminder that sometimes we must stop all the NOISE, all the TALK...if we are to ever hear and see what lies beneath the surface. If we are to ever see the light shine.
• A reminder that we must let the things of the past truly die, we can't hold on to it...we must let go if we are to truly allow our hearts to grow 3 sizes; if we are going to really transform...and show others you've changed. 

So why the Grinch?

To REMEMBER

4th Day Gathering...Make Me Broken

There she kneels in prayer each morning. A grown woman, kneeling in an almost fetal like position, taking her pleas, her worries, her passions, her praises, her everything to God. A new practice she began over the past few months. A practice she began because although she prayed daily, she realized she needed to be more purposeful in prayer. She needed a time to really converse with God…both to speak to Him as a child to a parent and to listen carefully, listening for His still small voice. Listening for God’s comforting words. Listening so she can hear God guide her path in ways that will bring glory to Him.

This woman is me and one way my Walk to Emmaus changed me is the way in which I focus on my relationship with God through prayer. Not just in the words I say, but in the way I pray. My name is Brandi Cade. I currently live in Cayce, SC. I attend church right here at Platt Springs UMC. I went on Midlands Walk #48 and I sat at the table of Martha.

Join me now on my journey as we take a walk back in time.  Growing up I was in and out of church. I loved being at church, but I didn’t always have a way to get there so my attendance, no matter where we lived, was sporadic. While in high school I was introduced to Romans 8:28 by my youth pastor and it has been my go to verse ever since.

        

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I would use this as my go to verse in times of change, trouble, and doubt. 

Fast forward a few years to college…I married my first husband early in my college days and attended a small UM church in Greer, SC. Faith UMC. Here my passion for the Lord was renewed. I quickly went from simply attending services to joining the choir and leading classes during Vacation Bible School. The church was my other family…with many adopted grandparents. I loved watching Ms. Betty sing in the choir. Her face glowed with radiance as she sang the Lord’s praises. And Mr. Pete….no one can sing Sweet Little Jesus Boy quite like he could.  But then I lost it all….I returned home from visiting my parents one day to hear my husband at the time say, “Sorry, I made a mistake marrying you. I don’t love you anymore.  I’m leaving.”

Talk about devastating. I had just spent a week thinking about my upcoming graduation and planning when to start a family. I ended up moving back in with my parents in Columbia right after graduation. I didn’t seek out a church once I was here. I guess you could say I was broken and fearful. As a matter of fact, I didn’t seek out a church until 2008. Six years after I had left my previous church home in Greer.

During those 6 years I met, fell in love with, and married my husband who I’ve been happily married to for almost 13 years now. We had 2 kids by that time…one was almost 3 and the other was about 4 months old. I had known for a long time I wanted to get back to church, but I wasn’t good at just putting myself out there.

Shortly before getting back to church, I started listening to WMHK…to the point that I stopped being the constant button pusher on the radio. No other song that might be playing mattered. All that mattered was hearing the Christian songs they played. I would find solace in listening to those songs. The songs brought me peace and understanding. They brought me back to the scripture.

Not sure why I was surprised since music always played a big role in my life. Music has always been the avenue I would choose to get through the tough times as well as the happy ones. But how much more powerful these songs were since they also included praising God, keeping faith in God, turning things over to God.

So longing to find a church, in September 2008 I reached out to my dear friend and mentor, Linda and she helped me find my way back to church. This church. My kids and I were immediately embraced and loved. During this time period my oldest was wrecked with eczema so bad that he looked like a burn victim who had been put through a meat grinder. Needless to say, getting to church regularly wasn’t always easy given the pain he was in constantly as well as the in depth routine we had to go through each day to wrap and protect him. But we made it….and my baby boy grew to love Jesus and God even more because of it.

Through the early years here I once again found myself working with the kids….and longing to be part of the choir. But it wasn’t quite my time yet. You see, during my early years here I slipped into a bad habit…if I had to teach, then I showed up. If not, then I stayed home and put family first…although in my head I knew I should put God first. Well God helped change that….eventually I became the only Sunday School teacher for my class so I had to show up every Sunday. But it was at that point that I really took ownership of what I was doing in the church.

It would still be a few more years of work before I would find myself in a position where my soul was absolutely on fire for God and I was seeking to truly put Him first. Not caring what others thought. In the meantime, I was still out seeking ways to please humans. For me, my “pleasure” seeking was through schooling. Getting that next degree or that next award or that next certificate. With all that work, I always had an excuse to only attend church on Sundays. But I still felt empty. Incomplete. It didn’t make sense at the time, but in that moment I thought I was doing well at trying to have it all. Back in church regulary…check. Getting good grades on doctoral level work….check. Making time for family (even had a 3^rd child)…check. Making a name for myself at my job…check and double check.

And then in 2013 these words came over the air as I was driving down the road….

Make me broken

So I can be healed…..

What? Make me broken. YES!!!! Sign me up Lord! Make me broken I prayed over and over. I know….sounds a little crazy right? Why would anyone ask to be broken… on purpose?

Make me empty

So I can be filled

Yes! Sign me up for that one too! Make me empty so I can be filled with you Lord. Doesn’t sound near as bad as being broken right?

Make me lonely

So I can be Yours

Okay, sign me up for that one too. But God, really, please make me broken and empty. I want you to Keep Making Me and if you have to break me and empty me to do it, then please break me and empty me.

And He did allow some of this to happen over the next few years. My oldest son’s health failed to the point he was no longer thriving and by March 2014 he underwent surgery to have a feeding tube placed. My middle child suffered her own fair share of allergy and eczema related problems. But no matter what battle I faced, I kept praying. I kept my faith.

Fast forward a little...I eventually made my way to teaching adult studies on Wednesday evenings and a little later finally joined the choir. My Sunday only became really long hours here on Wednesdays. 

Little did I know that all I slowly started adding would lead to me being where I am today. In 2015 I was first asked about going on the walk to Emmaus, but things didn’t work out. So during that year I did a lot of praying. A lot of begging God to break me & heal me, empty me & fill me. A lot of asking God to please Keep Making Me until He was my one desire. 

I knew that in order for God to be my one desire and for me to do what he created me to do, in order for me to fulfill my purpose, I would need to start giving up things. In early 2016 I made decisions on what to let go of. The first to go….my position with the local reading council. The next to go….my goal of being called Dr. Cade. I prayed and prayed and prayed and when I received an email describing an opportunity to receive 2 Certficates of Advance Graduate Studies in doctoral work instead of my doctorate in education, I prayed some more, then I leaped. I chose to not get my degree. I chose to let that go and focus on God and family.

From there things have been on an amazing ride. In September 2016 it was shared that an announcement would be in the upcoming bulletin about the need for a new youth coordinator to work alongside the youth director. I didn’t need to hear Romans 8:28 being spoken to me this time. This time I knew it was my season. I had been curious about working with the youth for a few years, but never dreamed that would be a possibility. I spent many hours in prayer and held many discussions with family about it. Then I took the leap.

At the same time I was approached about going on the Walk to Emmaus in late October. Timing worked out great this time….well, there were a few bumps, but God was top priority and I wasn’t going to let anything stand in the way.

The walk finally came….and it was something beyond what I could have ever imagined it to be. The first night was exactly what I needed. Hearing the speakers share their testimonies as well as teach us helped me to grow in my understanding of so many things. And the tablemates…I can’t recall a time I was with a group of women and became friends so quickly and freely. A group of women I try to keep in touch with despite our busy lives and how far apart we live from each other. 

I think one of the biggest take aways I had from my walk other than my time with God and really reflecting on my relationship with Him was how many times I could see myself and my situations in other people…and how God was there and present in each and everyone of their situations.

While on the walk I was also able to turn some things over to God that I didn’t realize I was holding on to. Things that I’m determined to pray about fervently each and every day now because I learned just how important it is for me to do so and to trust God’s timing for it all.

Then came 4^th day….my everyday after my walk. You remember how I had prayed for God to make me broken and empty? Well you see, the part I left out of my story (and had planned to keep out) is this:

The night before I left for my walk we discovered a bed bug infestation. I knew before making it home that 4^th day was going to be riddled with challenge after challenge. Little did I know that my first week back we would also discover that mice had taken up home in our attic and decided to come out and play at night. So here I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor, fighting bedbugs, and scared to death of the mice in the attic.

After one night that week with almost no sleep that’s when I first really hit my knees. I lost it in the shower, fell to my knees and cried over and over about how broken I was. How I couldn’t take anymore. How I needed God to take over everything. Notice that it wasn't the medical problems or the divorce early in life, it was bedbugs and mice that brought me to my knees. I cried on my knees until the only words that would form were Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. I need you. And then came the feeling of peace. Of knowing that I would survive this. And at that moment my prayer life changed. 

It took me a little longer to develop the practice of going to God every morning, kneeling in prayer, but it’s now a practice I cherish and don’t want to miss.

This month I got the privilege to read 1 Kings 19:1-14. When it came to the part of the Lord appearing to Elijah, I felt such a connection. You see God didn’t come to him in the wind, the earthquake, or even the fire. God came in a whisper. Although it is sometimes hard to find time to be alone with the Lord, I realize it is the most important part of strengthening my relationship with Him. I realize that is when I can hear His whisper. It’s not in the busy-ness of life, but it’s in the stillness. Sure I’ve heard Him at odd times when life is loud, chaotic, and crazy, but I get to have such deeper and more meaningful conversations now that I protect that silent time with Him. I get time to hear Him speak to me.

And although I’m still sleeping on a mattress on the floor, my identity was stolen in a security breach at work recently making taxes fun to deal with this year, and my pay was cut in January…I praise God each and everyday. God is mending me and filling me in so many ways that I don’t even have to words to explain it all yet. I get the joy and the privilege to sing His praises, I get the joy and privilege to work with the youth in our church, and I get the joy and privilege to face each day knowing that God strengthens and blesses me, he’s extended Grace to me, and I know that I’m a child of the one true king.

I realize now that the broken in the song isn’t so much about breaking me physically or mentally, but it’s about breaking me away from the things that keep me from having the best relationship I can with the Heavenly Father. It’s not about emptying me so that I have nothing, it’s about emptying me so that He can fill me with what He needs to equip me with so that I can move forward according to His purpose for my life.

So I will continue to pray, “Lord…Keep Making Me.” My journey isn’t over yet. It’s only just begun and I trust Him to equip me to do the things He’s calling me to do.

I leave you with this: What’s your prayer life like? Is it barely an ember burning low or is it a full on fire blazing for all to see? Have you found the time to be still and quiet so you can listen for God’s whisper?

Thank you and….De Colores

Vows and Rose Ceremony

On July 4, 2004 in the sweltering heat, Mark and I said our vows to each other at Station 18 1/2 on the beach at Sullivan's Island. Below are the vows we exchanged and the Rose Ceremony afterwards. Yes, it's long, but hey, I was going to make the moment last and get my money's worth:-)

  

INTRODUCTION           

We have gathered here today to hear __Mark______ and ____Brandi___ as they promise to face the future together, accepting whatever may lie ahead.  For the world that God has created for them, with its beauty and grace that is all around with the strength that it offers and the peace that it brings, makes them truly grateful.

Would you bow with me as we ask the Lord’s blessing on our time together today?

PRAYER

Our Father in heaven, Creator, Savior and Designer of marriage, we turn to you this evening,  asking that you be glorified by what takes place.  That this ceremony would honor you, and reflect the seriousness of the vows to be spoken.  Might this service be a reminder to us who have spoken similar vows to our spouses in the past. Might it be instructive to those yet considering such a commitment in their future.  Might this ceremony be a fitting beginning for __Mark______  and ____Brandi___  as they commit themselves before their family to pursue life together.  We ask it in Jesus’ name, Amen.

             

__Mark_____ and ____Brandi___, nothing is easier than saying words and nothing harder than living them day after day.  What you promise today must be renewed and redecided tomorrow.  At the end of this ceremony legally you will be husband and wife, but you still must decide each day that stretches out before you, that you want to be married. 

Real love is something beyond the warmth and glow, the excitement and romance of being deeply in love, It is caring as much about the welfare and happiness in each other; it is looking outward in the same direction---together.  Love makes burdens lighter, because you divide them. It makes joys stronger because you share them. It makes you stronger so you can reach out and become involved with life in ways you dared not risk alone. 

GIVING AWAY OF THE BRIDE

Who is giving this woman to be joined to this man in holy matrimony?

FOB: Her mother and I

(Bride’s parents) _Robert____ and _Donna_____, are you willing, now and always, to support and strengthen this marriage, by upholding both _Mark___ and _Brandi_____, with your love, your concern, your counsel, and your prayers?

PARENTS: We are.

(Groom’s parents) _Jimmy____ and _Debbie_____, are you willing, now and always, to support and strengthen this marriage, by upholding both __Mark__ and _Brandi_____, with your love, your concern, your counsel, and your prayers?

PARENTS: We are.

 

As you take these vows, _Mark______ and __Brandi____, I would have you remember: To love is to enter a whole new world, a world of togetherness, a world of sharing….All that is dearest and deepest within your hearts.

To love is to remember and keep alive forever all those unique qualities that drew you to one another in the beginning…Those first halting phrases…the thrill of discovery…That wonderful feeling of oneness when your eyes met.

To love is to constantly search for new ways to bring each other to happiness, to make the most of every moment you share together, and marvel at how your feelings for one another keep rising to new dimensions.

To love is to create an oasis of tranquility for one another and a quiet place, apart from others, where you need not pretend…where you can be yourselves…And know within your hearts, you will be accepted by one another. To love is to greet each day with anticipation …Always eager for another opportunity to share new adventures… And gather up new memories TOGETHER!

To love is to follow the rainbow through the rain, to be able to laugh at yourselves and be willing to say…” I was wrong, I’m sorry”… To forgive, and more importantly, to FORGET, and to always believe and trust in one another.

To love is to watch with wonder all the miracles of creation, to find beauty in all the simple things of life, and to find, within ourselves, a deeper appreciation and a new awareness of how wonderful it is to be alive…To be happy…To be… TOGETHER.

To love is to come together from the pathways of our past and then move forward…Hand in hand, along the uncharted roads of our future, ready to risk, to dream, and to dare…And always believe that all things are possible with faith and love.

WEDDING VOWS ( Please join you right hands)

_Mark_______, in taking this woman whom you hold by the right hand to be your lawful and wedded wife, I require you to promise to love and cherish her, to honor and sustain her, in sickness and in health, in poverty as in wealth, in bad that may darken your days, in the good that may lighten your ways, and to be true to her in all things until death alone shall part you. Do you so promise?

G: I do

_Brandi_______, taking this man whom you hold by the right hand to be your lawful and wedded husband, I require you to promise to love and cherish him, to honor and sustain him, in sickness and in health, in poverty as in wealth, in bad that may darken your days, in the good that may lighten your ways, and to be true to him in all things until death alone shall part you. Do you so promise?

B: I do.

CHALLENGE:

This I challenge you: That you love each other with an encompassing spectrum of love…That there be expressions of love in words and actions as well as in comforting silence…That there be interest in nuturing concern for each other’s happiness and well being… That your love be broad enough to accept the family and friends of each other and that they accept your love…That you be mindful of each other’s needs with honest effort of fulfillment...to TALK when the other needs to hear…to LISTEN when the other needs to be heard…to TOUCH when the other needs touching…to HOLD when the other needs to be held.  To understand solitude when the other needs to be alone. And that you may make living space of each other’s humanness, with both its strengths and frailties…That you have tenderness in your strength and yet find strength in tenderness itself…That you open yourselves to the Divine Love which has woven the tapestry of your union, and that you honor the Infinite Weaver with FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE, of these three, knowing that the greatest of these is LOVE. Will you accept this challenge?

B/G: I do

EXCHANGE OF THE RINGS:

Traditionally, the marking of the passage to status of husband and wife is marked by the exchange of rings.  These rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of love.  Love freely given has no beginning and no end, no giver and no receiver for each is the giver and each is the receiver.  May these rings always remind you of the vows you have taken…that your love, devotion, and commitment to one another are to be unending.

_Mark_______, would you place the ring you have chosen for _Brandi____ on the third finger of her left hand and repeat after me? Just as this circle is without end, my love for you is eternal.  Just as it is made of incorruptible substance, my commitment to you will never fail.  As a pledge and in token of the vows we have made, with this ring I thee wed.

_Brandi_______, would you place the ring you have chosen for _Mark____ on the third finger of his left hand and repeat after me? Just as this circle is without end, my love for you is eternal.  Just as it is made of incorruptible substance, my commitment to you will never fail.  As a pledge and in token of the vows we have made, with this ring I thee wed.

We will close with an Apache Blessing:

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for each other.

Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be the warmth for the other.

Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling to enter into the days of your life together.

And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

__Mark_______ and __Brandi_______, remember to treat both yourself and each other

with RESPECT, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together.

Give the highest priority to the TENDERNESS, GENTLENESS, AND KINDNESS that your connection deserves.  When frustration, difficulty or fear assail your relationship- as they threatened all relationships at one time or another- remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part that seems wrong.

In this way you can ride out the times when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives- remembering, that even if you lose sight of if for a moment, the sun is still there.

And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your lives together, your life together will be marked by abundance and delight.

_Mark___ and  __Brandi___ in as much as you have consented together in this ceremony to live in Holy Matrimony, have promised your love for each other by these vows, the joining of your hands and the giving of these rings, I now declare you husband and wife. As I do this, let me remind you that henceforth you are one; one in interest, one in reputation and above all else one in affection.

I ask you and all your dear ones to bow your heads in reverence. Silently pray that God will bless the home of _Mark___ and __Brandi___ and that they each, and together, may achieve their highest hopes.

(After short pause)

What God HATH JOINED TOGETHER, LET NO MAN PART ASUNDER.

May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious unto you.  May the Lord lift up his countenance unto you, and give you peace. Amen.

You may kiss the bride. It is my pleasure to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. _Cade_____. Before parting _Mark_____ and _Brandi_________  request your presence in the exchanging of their first gifts to each other as husband and wife.

ROSE CEREMONY

   

The Rose Ceremony is simple yet profoundly moving.  The bride and groom exchange two red roses, symbolizing the giving and receiving of their love for each other throughout their entire married life.  The Rose Ceremony also conveys how to use the rose and its symbolism in difficult times in order to forgive each other.

"Your gift to each other for your wedding today has been your wedding rings - which shall always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect; and a public showing of your commitment to each other.

You now have what remains the most honorable title which may exist between a man and a woman - the title of "husband" and "wife." For your first gift as husband and wife, that gift will be a single rose.

In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love and a single rose always meant only one thing - it meant the words "I love you." So it is appropriate that for your first gift - as husband and wife - that gift would be a single rose.

Please exchange your first gift as husband and wife. In some ways it seems like you have not done anything at all. Just a moment ago you were holding one small rose - and now you are holding one small rose. In some ways, a marriage ceremony is like this. In some ways, tomorrow is going to seem no different than yesterday. But in fact today, just now, you both have given and received one of the most valuable and precious gifts of life - one I hope you always remember - the gift of true and abiding love within the devotion of marriage.

_Mark__ and ___Brandi____ I would ask that where ever you make your home in the future - whether it be a large and elegant home - or a small and graceful one - that you both pick one very special location for roses; so that on each anniversary of this truly wonderful occasion you both may take a rose to that spot both as a recommitment to your marriage - and a recommitment that THIS will be a marriage based upon love. 

In every marriage there are times where it is difficult to find the right words. It is easiest to hurt who we most love. It is easiest to be most hurt by who we most love. It might be difficult sometimes to words to say "I am sorry" or "I forgive you"; "I need you" or "I am hurting". If this should happen, if you simply can not find these words, leave a rose at that spot which both of you have selected - for that rose then says what matters most of all and should overpower all other things and all other words.

That rose says the words: "I still love you." The other should accept this rose for the words which cannot be found, and remember the love and hope that you both share today.


__Mark_ and _Brandi__, if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, it is that it was love that brought you here today, it is only love which can make it a glorious union, and it is by love which your marriage shall endure."