So as I think on my story and spent time planning out areas of life to explore, I came up with a great list of ideas: the beginnings, various feelings, accepting Christ, baptism, hardships, all those small moments that we don't tend to think about when we think of sharing our story because we try to share that one big moment.
While I've included music within my sharings so far, I can't believe I didn't think about just the part of your story that includes the music. How has music affected your life? Or is there something else in life that you enjoy so much that it takes you to that special place? What is it? Can you find God in that special thing? How is it part of your story?
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For me music is everything. There is something for every emotion, it can take you from being in the deepest "funk" to being high on life again.
Tonight as we sat waiting for our meal, I looked at my husband and said, "They're playing Christian music." Then sure enough when our drinks came, the cups had Psalm 118:24 on it. And that got me to thinking.
I can't recall a time in my life when music wasn't a part of it. From singing "Hot Child in the City" to "Wildfire" to "Like a Virgin". Then came the other loves of my life, Michael Jackson, George Michael, Janet Jackson, Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, NKOTB, and rock. My 80s bands can take me back to an exact moment in time. I can feel exactly how I was feeling at that time in my life. Bands and singers like Bon Jovi, Heart, Def Leopard, Whitesnake, Guns N Roses, Aerosmith, Skid Row, AC/DC, Boston, Journey, REO Speedwagon, and on and on the list goes.
Then there are the songs that take me back in time because they are what played on the radio in the car...Eagles, Beetles, Pink Floyd, Queen, The Who, The Doors, Peter Frampton and that list goes on and on as well. I can time warp back to the exact vehicle we were in or to the place we were living and my mom would be playing her cassettes and dancing.
I could spend hours and hours in my room listening to the radio, especially the weekend as I listened to Casey Kasem's Top 40 ready to hit the record button to catch my latest favorites.
I loved being in plays and the choir. Havelock Elementary School in NC is the only school that I can recall where as a first and second grader I was allowed to be part of schoolwide plays and part of choir. I didn't get to be part of the choir again until 5th grade. Music was my favorite special area....not art, not PE, not library. Music.
But music was also where I would hide. You see, I have a strong accent (or so I've been told) and singing to the likes of Whitesnake with a strong country sound to my voice didn't go so well. At that time I had yet to really discover country music other than Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton so I thought having this accent was the worst thing in the world. I kept my singing for just myself from then on. Kept it to the confines of my own room.
In middle school I longed to be in music class, but since it required trying out to be part of the class that I knew I would enjoy I suffered 3 long years without such a class. It was in high school that I found music class....honor choir to be exact...again. Yes, I finally let a few friends and I think my mom convince me so I tried out for honor choir and made it in. In high school is where I also found church choir.
What changed? I had discovered country music. So my wide selection of music now included country. My first concert happened to be by chance and I saw Black Hawk, Little Texas, and Tim McGraw (when he was first getting started). I also started singing a little more in front of my mom. If I recall correctly it was Allison Kraus "When You Say Nothing at All". With this discovery of country music, I finally accepted that having a country sound couldn't be that bad. Besides, I also learned how to sing without having so much of the accent.
In the few years that followed, I also became part of a new church choir. One with a pianist that could tickle the ivories like no other. I could sit for hours just to hear her play. I hated Sundays when the organist would play. For me the piano gives so much more life and purity to the music. She was also the one who convinced me to sing my first solo and first duet. My mom would tell me to sing for God, not for anyone else in the church. Just focus on God.
In all this time though, I didn't realize I was missing out on some great music. A genre I had never really considered outside of church. During that time in my life when Bradley was just a year old and I was pregnant with Tori is when I really started to focus on this new to me genre. I was looking for something, anything. Dealing with all Bradley's ailments was overwhelming at times. Winters were spent with round the clock breathing treatments, his skin often was raw and oozing, and I kept trying to find the peace I used to be able to find in my music.
I used to be a button pusher. Always pushing buttons to find the best song on the radio at the moment. Going through CDs to find just the right one to get me out of my funk. To help me release all the pent up emotions. One morning on the way to work I decided to keep my radio tuned to 89.7. Not sure what made me do it or why, but I decided I was going to force myself to listen and get to know those songs. The fun part, Tori LOVED this music. So in my roughly 5 minute drive to work, I would play 89.7 and enjoy feeling my sweet Victoria move around inside. That kept me tuned in and before long I had favorite Christian bands.
Now it is rare that I check out the other radio stations because nothing can quite lift my spirits or speak to my various moods like the songs on 89.7. I actually dread the month of December when the station switches over to just Christmas music because for me it is a month without a part of life that helps me keep going on, a month without the music that speaks to a deep part inside of me.
So I'm sure you're wondering just what this has to do with my story of how God has worked in my life. I believe that God has given us so much on this earth and one of those things is music. For some people their escape might be drawing, painting, writing, running, dancing, whatever. For me, it is drowning myself in the chords, the melodies, the music. While the music I have chosen to listen to throughout my life so far may not be music that necessarily honors God, it is music that has helped to keep me grounded. It is music has kept me company. It is music that has let me feel. Let me cry until I can't cry anymore and then get up and dance with joy. For that I thank God for instilling in me a love of music and while I still wish to one day learn to play an instrument, I will be happy just singing to the top of my lungs while in the car and dancing to music with my babies in the living room hopefully instilling memories associated with music that they to can cling to. That when they hear a song years down the road they can time warp right back to being a young child dancing in mom's arms around the living room floor.
Let us pray:
God, thank you for music. Thank you for making us each unique in our talents and likes. I know you are always here for us Lord and we can rest safely in your loving arms, but it is also wonderful to know that you gave us things like music that can help us through various times in our lives. May we always seek to find you among those things because I know you are there. Amen.
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