What is happening for you right now? Can you see God working in your life? Are you allowing him to take over and lead as you follow? Do you hear him calling your name, but don't know what to do or are too afraid to answer?
God's not done with you yet.
Throughout the course of the month so far, I've shared various times in my life and how God has impacted those times whether I was aware of it at the moment or only just realized it this month. I've also shared that I have always believed, but didn't necessarily always attend church or follow God's plan for me.
In 1998 or 1999, I began attending Faith United Methodist Church in Greer, SC. It was a small church and I gained many grandparents there. I started attending because I was planning to get married there...and I did. I started singing in the choir again, had my own Vacation Bible School class and then ended up planning the whole thing once or twice. I was even on a committee (don't recall which one though). While life was busy with a full time job, full time college, and being married, I still remained active in the church. Actually attending church and being in choir made my weeks less crazy and I was energized. Well that all changed in 2002. That was when my ex decided he was leaving me and I ended up moving to Columbia.
One thing I didn't do was seek out another church to join. As a matter of fact, I didn't really step foot back in church again until 6 years ago in September or October of 2008 when Tori was a baby. I started going to Platt Springs UMC because my mentor teacher and friend attends there. She and the Friends in Christ class welcomed me with open arms. I loved the Sunday School class....we focused on so many different things, studied songs....I distinctly remember a study starting centered on Casting Crowns songs. But I guarded myself.
I wanted desperately to be more involved because that was about the time that Bradley's health problems magnified and Tori was showing signs of similar problems. Life was overwhelming at times and I felt like there was never enough time. When I thought back on my life, I realized the times in my life when I was attending Sunday School, church service, and choir practice were actually the times I seemed to have more energy to get it all done. Also more peace.
Unfortunately I allowed outside, earthly situations to come between me and God. I had greatly disappointed one person in my life because I at some point had promised that I would look for a church with them and instead had sought out one on my own. I honestly don't recall making that statement, but I may have. So I attended church, but I did so carefully. I wanted family to see that the kids and I would still be able to do everything we always did and that is where I let go. I began only attending church sporadically, once I started teaching Sunday School I would only show up on Sundays when I had to teach and then duck out of church before service. All to show that church wasn't taking up all my time and taking me away.
Every once in a while I would hear that a church member was asking about me so I would make sure to pop my head back in to service a few times, then slowly started sliding out again.
This happened off and on from 2008 to 2012. During those 4 years, I desperately wanted to join the choir, but didn't want to put any extra work on family. Plus I wasn't going to invite myself to choir. I had been invited to join back in 2009, but because of graduate school and classes, I didn't join...also the extra work thing. I had also started praying to God to show me what he wanted from me. Well, show me he did. The Sunday school class I had been teaching with 2 other ladies took a turn. At first I was being asked more and more to cover Sundays, then I got the call. One of the ladies had decided to no longer teach. Well it was only a matter of a couple weeks before the other lady stopped too.
So here I was suddenly the sole person responsible for my Sunday School class....and to add icing on the cake, for some reason I always had the most kids show up. The other two classes would have 2 or 3 kids and I would have close to 10. So here I was teaching Sunday School every week and starting to go to services once in a while.....(i.e. If my children were with me and not with a grandparent).
Not quite sure how things changed, but I did get better about attending every Sunday for both Sunday School and service.
Fast forward to now, suddenly I find myself not only on a newly created committee, but the chairperson of that committee, I lead a Wednesday night group, I have committed myself to this blog every night for the month of September, and apparently being chairperson also means I get to be on church council as the representative for my committee. Talk about a drastic change.
But why is this story so significant. Remember I said I suddenly found myself as the sole Sunday School teacher for my class back in 2012? Well that was over 2 years ago now since that happened and it was only last night that I learned more of my story based on God's work in another person's story. The lady who first stopped teaching Sunday School with me was in my Wednesday group last night and our discussion came around to not quite knowing what God has in store for us and she spoke up.
Did you know that she struggled with giving up her role as a teacher with the class I have? She said, God kept telling her to schedule me more Sundays and she did, but then she realized that she wasn't getting to teach as much. She said she didn't want to give up any of it, but that God was pushing her too. She said she also noticed that as long as I was scheduled, I would come and if I wasn't....well, I already told you that part.
Now a little over two years later, she is starting to see God's plan for all of that. She pointed out all that I am now doing and she also shared her story. She is going to start teaching Sunday School for the Nehemiah children. She is so excited about this opportunity and realize it was God's work all along preparing her for this time.
I share all this with you because God has a plan for all of us. We may not understand the events leading up to it, but suddenly we find ourselves in a position and when we look back we can see God's work all over the place. Isn't it great that God loves each and every one of us? That he has dreams for who he wants us to be in his kingdom. Isn't it great that though his sheep may stray, he is going to find them and bring them back in?
Tonight as I sat in my very first church council meeting wondering how on earth did I get here and how did I get myself into this, I couldn't help but see that God has known all along. Now I have no clue what the future holds, but I can definitely see that He has some pretty high expectations for me.
So I go back to last night's post...I prayed for a long time for God to make me empty, to make me broken, and to make me lonely all so I can fill myself with Him. He is certainly working on all that and more.
I leave you tonight with the prayer we ended our meeting with and a song that won't leave my mind, but my story is still being written and I want God to write that story. As the song says "My life, I know it's never really been mine, so do with it whatever you like. I don't know what your plan is, but I know it's good."
Wesleyan Covenant Prayer
I am no longer my own, but Yours.
Put me to what You will,
Rank me with whom You will.
Put me to doing,
put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for You
or laid aside for You,
Exalted for You
or brought low for you.
Let me be full,
Let me be empty.
Let me have all things,
Let me have nothing.
I freely and wholeheartedly
Yield all things to Your pleasure and disposal.
And now, glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
You are mine and I am Yours.
So be it.
And the covenant now made on earth,
Let it be ratified in Heaven.
Amen
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